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The start of my religious faith
It was September 1995 when I met Mr Kougetsu for the first time,. The year after I graduated from university, I got a job in a sales department. I achieved the best sales results out of all the colleagues who joined the company at same year. However, it was not long after this success that I lost my emotional balance, which caused inconvenience to people around me. It seemed as though I had dragged down to hell.
It was the second time that I had this nerve breakdown. The first time when it happened, I was a high school student. Whenever I had problems, my aunt Noriko Yamato, a Shutatsu (master in Shinyukai Church), and her husband, were like an ambulance sent to help me. At the first breakdown, I was ill in bed at my grandmother’s house. My grandmother and Aunt Noriko were staying next to me looking worried what would become of me. Then they said, “I have an idea, why don’t we call Mr Kougetsu?” and Aunt Noriko called him. She explained my condition to him, and then she handed the phone to me. She told me to speak to him, but I had never heard even his name before so I was wondering who on earth this man was. At first I hesitated but then took the phone.
“Hello,” I said.
“Hi, what‘s your name?” he asked.
I answered in a weak voice.
“I know you can say it in a louder voice, can’t you?” he said.
I thought to myself, “Who the hell is this man!?” feeling a little offended. Then I shouted my name in my loudest voice even though I was suffering.
And then he said, “Good, you’ve recovered. It’s ok now. Bye”. My telephone conversation with him ended there, and this was my first encounter with him.
After I hung up I felt terribly puzzled, but I still remember that I felt better and clearer somehow. Since then, I have always really looked forward to the chance to see him when he came back from Tokyo to Osaka every month to talk about God to the attendees.
This is how I met Mr. Kougetsu, and since then I have come to know about the existence of God through my various experiences with him, and I have been walking on the saint path with him.
My mission
Even though some time has passed since then, I was still silly and did not notice the path that God showed me, so I bumped into the walls I have made and fell over, and I created new walls myself and fell over again and again.
Yet I reached a turning point. When I attended the annual Shinyukai ski trip I had a great time with the children there. Mr. Kougetsu saw how I was enjoying spending time with the children and he said, “Yes, you are good with children. Children are just right for you.” Again, I was puzzled to what he meant. However, I was not brave enough to ask him what he meant at that time, and I kept his words in my mind for a long time.
When my grandmother passed away, she left some money to each grandchild. I was wondering if I should buy an expensive brand-name handbag as a token of my memories of her over my whole life. Yet suddenly Mr. Kougetsu’s words came into my mind. Then I somehow got the idea that I would like to obtain a qualification related to children. I decided to spend the precious money on a nursery teacher training course in a junior college in order to get a teacher license. By the lead of God since then everything has gone smoothly, which I still think is amazing and feel grateful for.
Once my determination became gradually firm, always keeping my mission in mind in my actions, everything started to go well and smoothly.
I visited a nursery as a student teacher. The head teacher of the nursery kindly offered me a job, so I got a teaching job without any exam or interview. Therefore, my teaching life began immediately after graduation.
I really had a wonderful time teaching for eight years until I got married. I enjoyed myself every single day and never thought about quitting.
I am filled with gratitude for being able to obtain a job that I could proudly express as my mission. I am thankful to Mr. Kougetsu for his kind guidance to help me notice my mission, and thankful to my family and all my friends who supported and helped me. And above all, I thank God who I appreciate for the most.
When I glanced out of the window while writing this Shuho, I saw a beautiful rainbow in the sky. Again, I felt full of gratefulness because God always gives us His hearty attention.
When you think of me and believe in me, do not forget that I also believe
in you and think of you.
(June 13th 2002)
This is my favourite God’s message. Although there are many rigorous messages, this message has a lot of caring that I often remember in my daily life. I would like to live brightly, joyfully, and healthily within God’s great benignity.
To be a mother, and feelings toward my mother
A sweet baby boy was born weighing 3666g at 13:58 on May 10th 2011. As my husband and I are teachers, we encountered many names, resulting in us desiring an easy-to-read and familiar name. So we named our baby boy, Keita.
This was my first pregnancy and I was a person who was so scared even to let withdraw my blood sample. The closer the due date came, the more anxiety I fell into. One day I let the words drop, “Will it be painful?…I am scared.”
Then my husband advised me, “Listen Tomomi, I understand we have a big event ahead of us and you are filled with anxiety and all, but think about the coming baby who will require a firm determination to come out to us, to this world. You will be fine, so stay strong my dear!”
He was right that our baby had made a big decision to come to this world in such a difficult time. I bet he or she must be so tough and strong! His words wiped all the anxiety and hesitation out from me. I realized that I should be worthy of the baby’s trust and hope.
And the due date came at last. I wanted my husband to be with me during the labour, so I always asked my baby to come out when his daddy had a day off, which was an arbitrary request, though. Amazingly, my labour pains started on the day we had wished for! Thirteen hours later, our baby boy, Keita, gave his first cry.
For a first childbirth, I had a rather easy delivery. My midwife praised us saying, “Neither you nor your baby made any complaints, and it was a marvellous delivery”. My husband kept encouraging me all the time in the delivery room for about eight hours, but my mother was also with me all the time to wipe my sweat and to take care of me briskly and efficiently.
I had informed the maternity home in advance that I only want my husband to be with me at the time the delivery. However, I feel as if it must have been God’s arrangement that the midwife asked my mother if she wanted to come into the delivery room. My mother did not plan to do so, instead wait outside the room, but somehow she ended up coming in the room without her intention.
I could complete the delivery safely. We see many TV clips that show impressive childbirth with tears, actually I did not cry but had a great relief. “I‘ve done it!” Deeply touched, my husband was in tears and gave me his respect. And then I cuddled my baby on my breast. When my mother congratulated me we shook hands, showing her my gratitude. It was then that I suddenly burst into tears and I thanked my mother for everything she had done for me. As we are so much alike, we used to argue a lot before. But I realized my gratitude for my mother giving birth to me just like I gave birth to my son. In reflecting upon my life so far, I realized that I had rebelled against my mother. I realized that I need to thank my mother more from that point on. I thank my baby for making me newly notice such feelings at my age at last.
On the day of my discharge from the hospital, it was beautiful and sunny after a few days of rain. My baby and I were heading to my parents’ home in Nara Prefecture. On the way, we passed a road near Ishiyama Temple in Ohtsu Prefecture which is where we live. I found there were many azaleas in full bloom, which had not been there before. It felt like our household deities were cerebrating Keita’s birth and had made a flower roadway just for him. Feeling overwhelmed, I thanked the deities as we passed by.
Always keep sunshine in your heart
“Miss Yanagawase, you are a sunshine to my child”. These were the most pleasing words that I receive from children’s parents and families while I was teaching. In Shinyukai, Mr. Kogetsu teaches us that at home wives should be the sun and husbands should be the moon. I always wanted to be a person who could cast light for people anywhere anytime. I admit that I sometimes get lost and feel vulnerable. Yet, like they say, every cloud has a silver lining--- I keep this in my mind and I would like to keep on going.
My next mission is to bring up Keita well. My son is a newborn baby but he has already given courage and smiles to the people who surround him. When I look at this, it inspires me to try harder to spend my daily life brightly, joyfully and healthily. Now I am serious about refreshing my decision towards my religious faith. I am still immature and have more to learn, so I hope I could walk forward with you all.
The bonds of friendship
Looking back this year, many disasters happened in 2011. A key phrase I heard most often was ‘the bonds of friendship’. I watched TV programs in which people appreciated the various bonds of friendship in the tsunami-stricken areas.
We not only have our families and friends but also the big warm family of Shinyukai Church. There is nothing else that makes me feel more grateful and secure. If I feel tired, there would be someone who kindly gives me a massage without words, or if I am in trouble, someone would help me and cheer me up. We have such fantastic friends. For anything, God warmly watches over us, so I keep my gratitude. I would like to work hard to meet God’s wishes simply and gradually.
There are only a few days left for this year, I hope we all can complete each day with no regrets to reach New Year 2012, which has the meaning of circulation.
Thank you very much for everything this year. A Happy New Year, everyone!
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Tomomi Kanbara
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| 18 December, 2011 HOME |
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